the Rabbit Fur Coat gift guide

with help from my sister

My younger sister is an expert gift giver. She’s been showing me up since she was in elementary school, when she enlisted my dad to help her order a custom deck of cards for my mom with a family photo on the back. Despite the fact that she does not live with my husband (which should give me a considerable advantage), she’s often better at picking out gifts for him than I am! One particularly memorable gift I’ve received from her was a custom tote bag, emblazoned with one of my favorite scenes from my favorite movie. This gift guide was inspired by her—and I got her to contribute! You’ll find her picks after mine.

where is the queer fanfic about Maria and the Baroness?!

In the spirit of Rabbit Fur Coat, these gifts are intended to avoid waste while still being indulgent. There are few things more depressing than a useless exchange of items that neither person will use or wear. I believe that a gift should be at least one of these things: edible, intangible, incredibly specific, or something the recipient wouldn’t spend their own time or money on. For example… I will probably never treat myself to the Feast of the Seven Fishes marzipan from Fortunato Brothers (also meets criteria of edible and incredibly specific), but I would absolutely take a million photos and eat it within 48 hours if it were given to me.

this is marzipan!

Without further ado, the Rabbit Fur Coat gift guide!

Create your own craft kit, potentially as an activity you can share. My friend Kara bought us a video quilting lesson to do together and it changed my life. Can you imagine giving a gift that changes someone’s life?!

An Edible Arrangement: Hear me out… a couple years ago, my boss at the time was going to send me flowers for National Social Worker Appreciation Week (absolutely a made-up holiday), but our ops director intercepted the order and suggested I get an Edible Arrangement instead. She even let me pick it out. (Thanks, Meg!) It is so much fun to receive an Edible Arrangement. Bonus points if you send it to the recipient’s office! Very 2010s.

if you’re wondering what a “yellow” is… it’s a reference to a harassment training that left an indelible mark on us and gave us a colorful shorthand to jokingly police each other’s behavior for months afterward

A custom graphic t-shirt: You can do this on your own with iron-on patches, or order from somewhere like customizedgirl.com. I’ve used this to mock up many custom shirts (I still think an Eric Adams-themed “You know first stop is always Instanbul [sic]” shirt would hit so hard), and have followed through on several.

nothing better than matching fake Yale sweatshirts with an inside joke!

Wooden tulips: I keep these in a vase on the bookshelf or the table in my apartment and almost everyone who comes over asks about them. People love these fake tulips! I bought a bouquet of them for my mom from this Etsy shop, but you can also find them used (here’s a bundle of four for $18 on eBay).

one of my parents’ chicest friends inquiring about something *I* bought!

A framed memento: This is something I love to give myself, lol. It’s a great gift if you know someone’s decor preferences, or if you have something of theirs you know they’d find meaningful. I framed one of my grandmother’s recipe cards (again… for myself… my sister would have done this as a gift).

Custom pet portrait: Our neighbor painted this for us but if you don’t have a talented neighbor you can commission, there are many artists who do custom pet portraits online! I’ve been tempted to go to Fishs Eddy and get this done in-person (you don’t bring your pet, just a picture, and he paints it while you wait) but I think it’s a bit expensive. I love the style of this artist’s pet portraits, which you can commission on Etsy.

a pet portrait from Linda Mantovani

Local “merch”: The more specific the better. After my husband told me about a mountain he skied with his uncle, I got him a patch on eBay from that specific mountain so he could put it on a ski jacket. I’ve also purchased place-specific decorative plates, t-shirts, packs of postcards—all secondhand!

Airline miles: Perhaps you’ve had a year of frequent work travel and aren’t anticipating any in the near future, or maybe you use an airline credit card and accumulate a lot of points along the way. If you have a friend who lives far away from you or from their family and hasn’t been able to travel as much as they’ve wanted to, offering them an airline mile transfer is an underutilized gift idea. I’ve done this for a friend who was in-between jobs and traveling a lot for weddings and just booked a flight directly for her (obviously after checking with her about scheduling… I am neither a mindreader nor a monster!) so I didn’t have to worry about a transfer fee.

Day at the thrift store: Cover the Dunkin Donuts drive-through order on the way and whatever they find at the thrift store. (Anna and Carley—if you’re reading this, I’ll treat you in December!)

I’ve never really analyzed my gift-giving methods until I started brainstorming this gift guide. It really isn’t super complicated, it just requires you to…. say it with me…. OBSERVE AND LISTEN TO THOSE YOU CARE ABOUT. If you don’t know a thing about the person and are absolutely stuck, give them a friggin’ gift card to the local grocery store or Target. In this economy, I promise you, it will be appreciated AND used, and isn’t that the ultimate goal here?

Ok so, back to gifting to someone you know. Think long and hard about them, be specific. Is there something they recently lost or broke? Is there a scent they love, more importantly, is there a scent they absolutely hate? Did they just move into a new home? What do they love to do with you? Who would they be starstruck to meet in person? What are the little things they complain about? What’s their favorite part of their week? Is there a new hobby or habit they’re trying to stick with? Once you’ve got those things in mind, it’s time to match up the answers with items they will actually use and appreciate. 

For some guidance, here are some of my more recent hall-of-fame gifts, who I got them for, and why they were a success: 

1. A Travel Aeropress: For my adventurous, coffee-loving brother-in-law. Apparently, this makes BETTER coffee than his french press at home? 

2. A gift card to a hot new bakery: For my long-time bestie and her boyfriend who had recently instituted “Pastry Sunday,” where they would try a new bakery every Sunday. 

3. A Cameo: For my bestie and former roommate who was living abroad in Spain and missing our two-person Bachelorette watch parties. I think a Cameo is a great gift for those who do not live within a shippable distance from you. It also offers a “silly” gift option that is less wasteful than sending your friend a funny gag gift that may end up unworn/unused past its opening. WARNING: Check to make sure the celeb (using that term loosely here) has a decent turnaround time, otherwise you may not get the Cameo on time. Cameo usually displays this!

My friend’s reaction to Andrew Spencer, the fourth(?) place runner-up on the 2021(?) Season of the Bachelorette, wishing her well during her time abroad

4. A custom Spotify playlist: For my mom when I moved away for college. She had mentioned that she missed driving me around and listening to my music. I’ve done this for other holidays since and she’s loved it every time! Warning: You may have to re-teach your parent how to use their Spotify should you do this. 

   

5. A Claypron: For my bestie who finally found a ceramics studio in her new city but was constantly ruining her clothes with the clay.

6. A protective sun hat: For my constantly outside, forever freckled and coated in sunscreen father

7. A PAIR of oven mitts: For our parents, who, for some reason, only had ONE good oven mitt for the majority of my childhood

8. A gift card to a local bookstore: For my voracious reader of a bestie who just moved to a new city. In my opinion, this is a WAY better gift for your bookworm friends than gifting them a book (unless they’ve made a specific request) because it allows them to pick out a book they are interested in AND, if they’re in a new city, can also be a way to explore! 

9. A gift card to their local nail salon: I have been the giver AND recipient of this gift and it is truly so nice to know that a treat for yourself isn’t coming out of your pocket 

10. A spacious and sturdy travel carry-on: I noticed that my mother used a NON-ZIPPERED canvas tote bag as her “personal item” on the plane. It was usually stuffed to the brim and the contents were prone to spilling out. After my dad joined my mom in retirement and they started to travel more, I knew this couldn’t continue. My sister and I gifted this to our mom and she has used it for pretty much every trip since, with great success. In my opinion, this bag is an incredible travel bag that should be mentioned more on various Top 10 Travel Bag Lists! It is roomy, has massive side pockets and a luggage handle slip, AND can pack up into a little pouch so you could also pack it in your suitcase as a fallback in case you end up needing more luggage space for travel purchases! It is also made of easily washable material that will hang-dry quickly.

Let us know if you end up using any of these suggestions—or share some greatest hits from your own gift-giving history in the comments so we can all get some more ideas!